The superwoman trap

Recently, a friend told me something that stopped me: "We were conditioned for this. The perfect businesswoman, the one who handles everything, who never lets go, who never shows she's tired."

And I realized: yes, I was proud of it.

Proud of carrying everything. 17 years at an American bank, 17 years running my own company. The children, the strategy, the numbers, the teams. All at once. Without complaining.

We fought to prove we could do just as well as men — and even better, because we did everything else on top of it.

But what no one said is that this model rests on an illusion: that carrying everything alone is strength. When it's really just survival disguised as performance.

The most perverse part is that if you crack, the model tells you it's your fault. Not strong enough. Not organized enough. Not enough. And if you don't crack? Those around you send you right back into the same trap: "No, no, she's strong, she handles things, she'll manage."

No one gives you permission to let go. Yet life isn't a fight…

One day, my body decided. It collapsed.

Not because I was weak. Because the model I'd learned was unsustainable.

True strength isn't doing everything alone. It's in sincere connection and reciprocal support. Not in posturing.

Ironically, it's something I always knew in my work. I always thought collectively, in a participatory way. But for myself? I applied the old model to every facet of my life… reducing it all to management.

It took me time to see and integrate that the superwoman was not an accomplishment. To step out, bit by bit, of the automatic reflexes. It was a conditioning, a false identity. Brilliant, probably impressive from the outside, but exhausting on the inside.